Post by dave on May 2, 2014 20:53:50 GMT
The judge
So the day has arrived, and has done quickly as it was only 18 hours ago that John agreed to meet me in the 'last chance saloon'. Wanting to meet so soon made me feel wanted, I didnt have to wait 6 weeks like most professionals ive seen in the past so why was this different?
I stood glaring out of the window from mat's cafe, I caught my reflection in the corner of my eye, I didnt like what was staring back, id lost quite a bit of weight and wasnt eating well, a shell of a man.
I watched the world go by as 11o'clock drawn even closer. life just looked easy for everybody else, people walking about with a smile, strong confident strides in their steps. with anxiety taking over I was about to leave and just as I did I saw a familiar face open the door I was about to go out of. 'hiya mate, you alright' a voice said, it was john. straight away I felt at ease as he pulled up a chair at a table for me. He offered me a drink or something to eat, I didnt feel hungry and tea made me more anxious in unfamiliar places, besides that I had anxieties around eating food that wasnt prepared by myself but I didnt want to say anything incase I come a cross as a weirdo, I knew john wouldnt think bad of me but I thought it was a little early to be telling him.
I spent a good 25 mins talking and john kindly sat and listened. I felt a little more happy after john listening, then he started telling me of a competition he and Ulimited Potential was hosting called 'men behaving dadly' john had a leaflet with him that was sent out to all the schools around little hulton for children to tell them all about their dads and why they was great. He then asked me to be part of it and to be a judge after the kids had submitted the entries. I felt over whelmingly happy, wanted, proud, needed, mixed in with a little nerves amd anxiety. but why I thought to myself why would he want me to do this, such an important role and I was to be part of it the something hit me.. I felt better inside almost stronger. Ive felt like this before but only through using the mental health services and not so quickly. something gotta hold of me and I felt I had a purpose. was this an opprtunity for me to get some normailty in my life.? I didnt exactly know what was ahead of me but it felt good and I felt energised as john said 'il pick you up next week and have another chat' that made me feel like I was needed for this and couldnt wait until that day arrived...
to be continued
So the day has arrived, and has done quickly as it was only 18 hours ago that John agreed to meet me in the 'last chance saloon'. Wanting to meet so soon made me feel wanted, I didnt have to wait 6 weeks like most professionals ive seen in the past so why was this different?
I stood glaring out of the window from mat's cafe, I caught my reflection in the corner of my eye, I didnt like what was staring back, id lost quite a bit of weight and wasnt eating well, a shell of a man.
I watched the world go by as 11o'clock drawn even closer. life just looked easy for everybody else, people walking about with a smile, strong confident strides in their steps. with anxiety taking over I was about to leave and just as I did I saw a familiar face open the door I was about to go out of. 'hiya mate, you alright' a voice said, it was john. straight away I felt at ease as he pulled up a chair at a table for me. He offered me a drink or something to eat, I didnt feel hungry and tea made me more anxious in unfamiliar places, besides that I had anxieties around eating food that wasnt prepared by myself but I didnt want to say anything incase I come a cross as a weirdo, I knew john wouldnt think bad of me but I thought it was a little early to be telling him.
I spent a good 25 mins talking and john kindly sat and listened. I felt a little more happy after john listening, then he started telling me of a competition he and Ulimited Potential was hosting called 'men behaving dadly' john had a leaflet with him that was sent out to all the schools around little hulton for children to tell them all about their dads and why they was great. He then asked me to be part of it and to be a judge after the kids had submitted the entries. I felt over whelmingly happy, wanted, proud, needed, mixed in with a little nerves amd anxiety. but why I thought to myself why would he want me to do this, such an important role and I was to be part of it the something hit me.. I felt better inside almost stronger. Ive felt like this before but only through using the mental health services and not so quickly. something gotta hold of me and I felt I had a purpose. was this an opprtunity for me to get some normailty in my life.? I didnt exactly know what was ahead of me but it felt good and I felt energised as john said 'il pick you up next week and have another chat' that made me feel like I was needed for this and couldnt wait until that day arrived...
to be continued
