Post by dave on Apr 25, 2014 18:29:13 GMT
My name is Dave, I have lived in Little Hulton all of my life, I have struggled with anxiety and agoraphobia for many years starting from my teens. I have used many services available in the area, they would work for a while but was never sustainable so ended up bouncing back and fouth around services until I found a level to which I could function only to fail a few months later. I was introduced to what is now known as ‘Salford dadz’ late into 2013 starting with the ‘men behaiving daddly’ competition, this is where my life changed forever and catapulted me into the promised land never to return to the dark, ice walled well I once dwelled.
‘The last chance saloon’
As I found myself entering another service after many years of failed attempts in trying to regain control of my life, I couldn’t help but be critical of what was to come. If 15 years had taught me anything it is that certain health services can work for individuals but for me, my improvements would last but a short while before falling back into a system of pass the buck.
As I wait anxiously for my appointment time to arrive, I sit fidgeting grasping my keys when something catches my eye, a symbol and a stark reminder why I keep entering services to improve my life, a photo; a photo of my children attached to my keys, smiling and happy, my babies, the reason I keep searching for the promised land of dreams, to help me, to help them keep smiling just as they do in that photo.
I snap back to reality as I hear my name called, it’s my time. I walk anxiously behind and enter a room only too familiar to me. The lady in front of me was Angela from ‘Being well’ a service to improve mens well being in Salford. After a discussion I found myself thinking back to another service I used months previously, a gentleman called Mike Johnson, a health trainer from Unlimited Potential. Mike did so much for me and got me started on courses in the community to better myself and to boost my confidence. This worked for a while until I found myself spiralling into an all too familiar abyss of anxiety, struggling with relationship issues and contact with my children, drinking became a problem as I was relying on that to fill the loneliness and silence of the night. Although Angela was lovely, being well just wasn’t right for me at this time I needed something more, so I decided to walk away with the skills I had already been taught in the past in the knowledge that I could return to Angela if and when needed. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed knowing that another search of the promised land had failed. Head slightly dropped I say my goodbyes and proceed to put my coat on, Angela hands me a card, but what’s this I thought, it isn’t a being well business card, it’s an unlimited potential card, I know this company…I know the colours and I know how much they had helped in the past. ‘John Ryan is looking for dads in the local area, maybe you can give him a ring’ Angela said. Suddenly my ears pricked back and my body was alert again like I had just had 3 coffee shots in one go. I got in my car and held the card in my hand contemplating calling John, I knew this was the right thing to do. He wanted dads after all, maybe he could help me, maybe it’s a service to help get real access to my kids. As I dialled the numbers my hand was shaking with excitement and anticipation, he answered immediately ‘hello, John Ryan speaking’ I know that voice from somewhere I told myself, quickly we both realised we had briefly met when mike Johnson was my health trainer where John spent a few minutes explaining a few ‘dynamic stretches’ to me (we had similar interests in weight lifting and training) I knew this man had talent, but his talent was something that couldn’t really be taught it was just John, his kind empathetic ear the way he spoke wanted me to talk even more. As I continued to speak on the phone we arranged to meet the following day in Mat’s café on the local precinct,was this the last chance saloon!?
To be continued……
‘The last chance saloon’
As I found myself entering another service after many years of failed attempts in trying to regain control of my life, I couldn’t help but be critical of what was to come. If 15 years had taught me anything it is that certain health services can work for individuals but for me, my improvements would last but a short while before falling back into a system of pass the buck.
As I wait anxiously for my appointment time to arrive, I sit fidgeting grasping my keys when something catches my eye, a symbol and a stark reminder why I keep entering services to improve my life, a photo; a photo of my children attached to my keys, smiling and happy, my babies, the reason I keep searching for the promised land of dreams, to help me, to help them keep smiling just as they do in that photo.
I snap back to reality as I hear my name called, it’s my time. I walk anxiously behind and enter a room only too familiar to me. The lady in front of me was Angela from ‘Being well’ a service to improve mens well being in Salford. After a discussion I found myself thinking back to another service I used months previously, a gentleman called Mike Johnson, a health trainer from Unlimited Potential. Mike did so much for me and got me started on courses in the community to better myself and to boost my confidence. This worked for a while until I found myself spiralling into an all too familiar abyss of anxiety, struggling with relationship issues and contact with my children, drinking became a problem as I was relying on that to fill the loneliness and silence of the night. Although Angela was lovely, being well just wasn’t right for me at this time I needed something more, so I decided to walk away with the skills I had already been taught in the past in the knowledge that I could return to Angela if and when needed. I couldn’t help but feel disappointed knowing that another search of the promised land had failed. Head slightly dropped I say my goodbyes and proceed to put my coat on, Angela hands me a card, but what’s this I thought, it isn’t a being well business card, it’s an unlimited potential card, I know this company…I know the colours and I know how much they had helped in the past. ‘John Ryan is looking for dads in the local area, maybe you can give him a ring’ Angela said. Suddenly my ears pricked back and my body was alert again like I had just had 3 coffee shots in one go. I got in my car and held the card in my hand contemplating calling John, I knew this was the right thing to do. He wanted dads after all, maybe he could help me, maybe it’s a service to help get real access to my kids. As I dialled the numbers my hand was shaking with excitement and anticipation, he answered immediately ‘hello, John Ryan speaking’ I know that voice from somewhere I told myself, quickly we both realised we had briefly met when mike Johnson was my health trainer where John spent a few minutes explaining a few ‘dynamic stretches’ to me (we had similar interests in weight lifting and training) I knew this man had talent, but his talent was something that couldn’t really be taught it was just John, his kind empathetic ear the way he spoke wanted me to talk even more. As I continued to speak on the phone we arranged to meet the following day in Mat’s café on the local precinct,was this the last chance saloon!?
To be continued……
